Diary of a Mad Pregnant Woman

Okay, you know all that crap I said in my last post about how I love being pregnant? And how I'm eating good foods and am embracing this transition?


When I envisioned my pregnant self, I saw a glowing, angelic Allyn with a nice round belly, no cellulite, prancing through the woods. There was no morning sickness, and my body was working exactly as it should (which, of course, meant I felt no discomfort). I loved being pregnant in this vision! Pregnancy would make me a goddess!

Ohohohohoho. Wow. That is funny. Reaaaaaally funny. The thought of it now makes me chuckle. No, it makes me LOL.

Well, first the good news. While ultrasound-time will not happen for two more months, I did get several test results at my appointment last Tuesday (I get the rest this Thursday). So far, everything is just super. Yay.

The bad news: prego sickness has taken over my life. For well over a week now, I have been constantly nauseated. Like, please-god-just-let-me-puke nauseated. I have to eat pretty much constantly to keep the nausea at bay (and that doesn't really work). I have vomited violently a total of two times, once in a Cracker Barrel bathroom (in which a nurse came to my stall door and made sure I was okay...I had to explain that I was just eight weeks pregnant, and thus was not pregnant enough for my BABY TO QUIT HATING ME, so all was well). As for what I'm eating, the thought of vegetables makes me sick. I walked through Kroger (nauseated, of course) and bought EVERY PRODUCT IN THE WHOLE STORE that didn't make me nauseated. My grocery bill was a mere $40, folks. Don't even get me started on the shrimp in the open freezer. I smelled it all over the store. I want to kill all shrimp everywhere...and make sure they don't end up at Kroger.

I have very frequent indigestion, which I didn't know could happen this early in pregnancy. I hiccup (really, just gas, not diaphragmatic contractions) frequently. I have to pee every two hours (at the most! Usually on the hour.). And I don't normally talk about such topics, but since last week, my intestines could supply enough gas to completely end our reliance on foreign reserves. I'm not even going to go into what's coming out of my intestines nowadays. Trust me: it defies logic.

Oh, and I turned twenty-five years old this week. I got to celebrate by napping and not puking. Hooray.

Somebody tell this kid to knock it off with the progesterone fits or I'm going to withhold the prenatal vitamins and smoke a cigarette (okay, okay, I'm kidding, but I AM tired of being sick).

I'm starting to wonder when I'm supposed to enjoy being pregnant. At least my husband's having fun with all the "I get to be a daddy!" stuff and rubbing my fledgling baby bump. The only enjoyment I get from this nowadays? I have an excuse to nap and be bitchy, and all of my flowy hippie clothes will soon serve a purpose. Ah, maternity wear.

Oh, Baby

Last Friday, I noticed I've been incredibly tired and hungry for the past few weeks. Well, I realized that after I figured out that my stomach was NOT receding from the position it was in- noticably a little rounder. Not big at all, but it was a small convex curve. Three pregnancy tests later, I am embracing the transition of pregnancy- the journey from maiden to mother, the switch from crunchy granola girl to...crunchy granola mama. By the autumnal equinox, I'll be carrying my own kid on the outside!

Being pregnant is awesome! Well, so far...which is only about six weeks (at the most). I contacted my prospective midwife, and I need to have an ultrasound to determine my due date. That will be done before the end of January. That will hopefully be my last ultrasound; we don't plan to find out the baby's gender until he/she gets here.

As most people who know me would guess, I am planning a homebirth. I know I need to give birth in a place where I feel comfortable, safe, and uninhibited...e.g. NOT A HOSPITAL. In fact, I would personally feel UNSAFE giving birth at a hospital. That isn't to say that it is sometimes necessary, and I completely honor anyone who has given birth...anywhere and under any circumstances! That includes the hospital. As a student doula, I have seen some wonderful maternity care in (some) hospitals. It's just not right for ME. Statistics show that for low-risk pregnancies (NOT ALL...but LOW-RISK), homebirth with a skilled midwife is as safe or even safer than hospital birth. Homebirth precludes the use of unnecessary interventions which could lead to medically-induced fetal distress. Plus, midwives are taught to read warning signs well before they become a serious danger to mother and baby, so there is time to transport if need be. And midwives carry things like oxygen and pitocin...just in case. I feel very confident and secure in birthing at home with a midwife.

My midwife is actually the doula who was with me at my very first birth as a student doula. She totally saved the day! She was kind and compassionate through the whole birth, and when there was a complication (and no doctor to be found), she jumped right into midwife mode and delivered a shoulder dystocia like it was just a walk in the park. Even before that, I knew that this sweet woman just had to be my midwife.

Now, before I can go completely through with hiring my midwife and planning my birth, I need to have a risk assessment. (I'll also have to have one at the end of my pregnancy). This is usually done by a doctor or at a health clinic. Mine will be done by a doctor. If I have any health conditions, I will most likely have to birth in a hospital. I've been doing my best to be super healthy, though, but not really because I don't want a hospital birth...it's more for the little grain of rice jumping around in my tummy. Heh.

As far as nutrition, I'm trying to cut back on meat. I am only buying organic dairy products. I've been doing my darndest to avoid white sugar and sodas (though I gave in once to sweet tea). I've been drinking a lot more water and eating more fruits and veggies (way more, actually!). I'm also drinking red raspberry leaf tea, which is a great tonic for the uterus. After all that tea, it'll be toned and ready to pop this baby out in seven or eight months! It is great for pregnancy and helps to prevent a host of possible complications. And, of course, I'm taking prenatal vitamins everyday.

Doing work in the field (for school) is keeping me very, very active. I hiked for hours today! I am wiped out! Still, I want to keep up my yoga. I just hope I can find a good prenatal yoga class once my belly gets really round. I'm also planning to go to some cardio classes at UCA- I emailed an instructor today asking for recommendations regarding the most appropriate classes for pregnant women (please say belly dancing...please say belly dancing...)

Things left on my to do list:
- Give in to my yogurt craving.
- Give in to my pretzel and cheese craving.
- Start taking fish oil (apparently it will help with neurological growth and development!)
- Look into seeing a chiropractor (apparently it reduces average labor time! I am all for that!)
- Rent or buy an AquaDoula. Yep, waterbirth, folks. It's the natural birthers epidural!
- Continue reading Mothering magazine online. :P I read this even before I found out. I just love it!
- Read Dr. Sears' pregnancy book, Birthing from Within, books on waterbirth, anything I can find on orgasmic birth, and Spiritual Midwifery. I'm sure I'll add more. I'll probably have to wait until summer for some of these...school is going to be crazy! Luckily, I've read several great ones already for doula class.

Many more updates to come.